China Owns the USA... no seriously, it does

In NHL '93, Tom Fitzgerald of the New York Islanders had 0 speed. As in zero. Yes, his speed was rated at zero. The scientists here might be saying that this is impossible, since zero speed would mean he wasn't moving, but if you turned on line changes (cool) or put him in your starting line up (apparently not cool), you would see that he actually did move.

Well Team China could have officially had a speed raiting of zero, cause they weren't moving. They were "making repairs" to their boat, which was of course code for "hiding from the competition", and skipped out on a bunch of races.

The BMW Oracle team was in first place. Nearly unstopable, having lost only one race in the first round robin. So what happens when the China Team finally shows up for a race, having lost every single one that they had (and had not) participated in, and the race is against BMW Oracle?

Yep, they win. The lowely Chinese pirated ship actually beat team BMW Oracle? What happened? BMW Oracle broke the stay sail, and so they were out of it. What really happened? The Chinese government made a phone call, told some important people that they were gonna sell all their US Govt treasury positions, and make the weak dollar even weaker. Larry Ellison, the billionare who started Oracle and the BMW Oracle team, was facing a potentially huge loss. He would still be a billionaire, but with the resulting inflation, being a billionaire would only be like being a millionair, and that aint cool.

So BMW Oracle threw the race, and the Chinese felt important for like 10 seconds. They will feel little again when Internet Team Germany and +39 (so far the other scrubs of the cup) beat them silly. If they actually have the guts to show up and race, they will wish they were windsurfing with John Kerry instead of sailing a real boat.

Luna Rosa is now tied for first place with BMW Oracle, and the races have been really close. +39 lost to the pathetic Green Spanish boat by 1 second. Yes, ONE SECOND! Crazy.