Race Along With Them

Right, so the semi-finals are starting, and you are wodering what you can do to help your favorite team (which, unless you are a jerk, is Luna Rossa Challenge). If only there was a way to show how dedicated you really are. Sure, you can paint your car grey with some red stripes that say Prada, and lean out the window while you drive, as if the car was tilting in the wind. But unless you drive a piece of junk Ford-Lincoln-Mercury-Sabre, there is a more practical option.

Ok, I know drinking games are overated. Once drinking Ikari Warriors (for original Nintendo) became a national craze, it seemed like everyone was comming up with their own drinking games. You knew it was really bad when people were drinking to a TV show like X-Files. I still don't get it how that works. How was that a game? I mean, it isn't like you had to try and split a tank or anything by pressing buttons at the exact same time as your fellow Ikari warrior. You couldn't even wear a red or blue headband (tied in the back like Rambo) for extra effect. Lame.

Despite all of this, a drinking game has been established for the America's Cup. Everyone knows it is a great event, but it can bit a bit boring when one team has like a 2 minute lead. Sometimes rooting for someone's mast to snap just isn't fun enough. So here is how the game works, and it is fun no matter how close the race is.

Step One: Pick a Team. Yeah, I know everyone wants to be Luna Rossa, cause they are cool and the other teams are as much fun as going to college at Case Western Reserve. So flip a coin or something. Really, rock, paper, scissors is the best way to decide it, but you have to be completely naked or it is too easy to cheat. So pick em.

Step Two: Buy some drinks. What you buy is up to you. If you are in the U.S., you must be over the age of 21 to purchase them. Or you can call Mike Christy, either way. (Optional, buy some other fun stuff that produces smoke)

Step Three: Sit down to watch the race. Now, if you have a TiVO or a VCR, this could help a lot as you can fast forward right through the commercials. If you don't have TiVO or a VCR, then I'm pretty freakin sure you don't have a computer with internet access either, so you aren't reading this... loser.


Right, so the race is starting, and here are the rules:

1. Take a drink if you are the Spanish Team. Yes, just for being that terrible team.
2. Finish your drink if your team loses the start (crosses the line second)
3. Finish two drinks if your team jumps the start
4. Drink half a drink every time your team flies the "protest flag", requesting a penalty
5. Drink a whole drink if your team receives a penalty

6. Take a drink every time your team tacks on an upwind leg, and jibes on a downwind leg (These are the most important rules of the game. For those that don't know, Tacking and Jibing are when the boats change direction. Not when they go around the floating orange/yellow things, but when they change their angle. Don't worry, the announcer will let you know when it is happening)

7. If your team is behind at the end of any leg, upwind or down, finish your drink. If they are behind by more than a second, drink another one on top of it.

8. If your boat sinks (it can, and has happened before http://magazine.web.de/images/544/2177544,h=351,pd=1,w=420.jpg), drink two drinks, smoke one whole something, and shave your head. This is a must.

9. If your team loses the race, you pay for the drinks for the next race!

10. Also drink for the following random occurances, you hear a crew member curse during an on-board shot, anybody on your boat high-fives anyone else (even after the race), anyone on your boat touches the water in any way (including if they fall in), anyone on your boat has their nose covered in white Zinc, anyone on your boat looks bored (subjective, and must be agreed upon by both teams). Drink a whole drink if any member of your crew is injured, any part of your boat breakes, or if any one of your sails touch the water.


Ok, those are the rules for now. They can be changed at any time. Enjoy the Semi-Finals action.